2 Weeks, Part 2: God's Timing

So my first week in rehab ended with Christmas. My second week ended with a release home on New Year's Day. To quickly sum up the last week: it was about prepping me with the skills to go home. An appointment with me spine doctor to check my incision and healing of my back, continued therapies and a heart change that was ready to be with my kids again.

I still felt worried! “I'm not ready!”, I thought. I want to walk out of here! I don't want my husband being my nurse: helping me in the shower, or bathroom or helping me dress. I was worried about the home physical therapy and whether it would be frequent enough. It certainly would not be 1.5 hours daily!

I can see in hindsight, that though coming home presented itself with many challenges: my kids needed me home, my healing still progressed, the changes in my relationship with Sam brought us closer and brought a new level of trust between us, and ultimately God knew what was best and what I could handle.

So back to today! I am anticipating a long awaited intake appointment at Stanford tomorrow. This will begin the process of getting my stem cell transfer started! I'm scared and excited. One of my biggest concerns is about the timing. Start to finish, I am anticipating about a 6 week process of taking the stem cells out to eventually putting them back in and looking for signs of engraftment (where my immune system accepts the new cells and begins to make new blood cells again). I will basically be isolated during this time, only going out to doctor appointments, and having a lot of hand washing and wearing masks in the house. This would be followed by approx 3 months of “being careful” of infections.

I think it will start soon. I also have 2 important dates that I want to be able to be present to for my son and family. The first is Oliver's entry into public school for the first time on August 18th. I have reason to believe that it might be a tough transition for him and I would like to be available to support him through it. The second date is September 8-13, which is Oliver's birthday followed by a church weekend at KOA where we usually celebrate his birthday. We missed last year and I am pretty determined that the kids WILL go this year:) I just would love to go with them: a long shot!

I am trusting God in the timing of all. I know my plans and how I would want things to go, but God's got the big picture with all of the moving parts, the needs of everyone (not just me), and what the future holds. His timing is good and I'm going to trust in it, even if it not mine.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him,

 and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6